Life got in the way. Life, and being knocked sideways by unexpected homesickness. Homesickness did not feel the way I thought homesickness would. Quite frankly, I felt heartbroken. Absolutely heartbroken. It wasn't until I read something about ambiguous loss that I had a light bulb moment and all the things I had been feeling clicked in to place.
The way I got over it was to cut myself off from all my UK friends on Twitter, avoid seeing or reading anything about London and to slowly build up some sort of life here in Australia. I was lucky enough that when I felt able to connect again, people were still willing to give me a chance. I still get pangs when I see a picture of a sunset over The Ladder, or Alexandra Palace, or another London landmark; but it no longer makes me ridiculously sad.
On paper, my life is the Australian dream. I've retrained as a nurse. We own a house. With a pool, and a Labrador. We even own a canoe, and go camping. Actual camping. Sam takes himself to school independently every day. He's a Sea Scout. The kids play Minkey (Mini Hockey) on a Saturday. We have camp fires in the garden, and cook damper & melt marshmallows. I wouldn't call it The Lucky Country for everyone, but I'm doing OK here; mainly because I'm not poor or an asylum seeker. Politically here, everything has shifted radically right, which when I am fairly left can be hard to stomach. I've never been anywhere which is so casually racist. Not everyone obviously, but it feels much more obvious here. I've also never lived somewhere so White. Coming from Tottenham this is an eyeopener. It's different in the bigger cities or the backpacker towns, but it's something I feel really aware of.
Life in Australia is different. Good and bad different. Of course I've managed to end up 2hrs away from the sea, we can get down to -7 at night, and oh sweet something I've never lived anywhere with so many roundabouts or crazier drivers. However, I've started to love it. I like being able to see mountains where ever I am. I like Australians. For the most part. I'm still a Londoner, but for the moment, finally, Australia is home.
